x-o-x [=StarBurst=] x-o-x

The cousins late birthday bash was at the weekend. Me being the best person that i am stayed on the friday night and we were playing Xbox nearly all night lool. But when morning came we had to be up early and wait for his friends to come round and make way on our travels to LASER MAYHEM.

Thank go i had my zune or i might have jumped off the train coz jezz these kids were mental,, and plaing dares was kinda fun,, even though they were trying to make me do pole dancing :s.

When we got there we had to wear massive jump suits apart from the fact that mine looked like it had been created by mc hammer.

The Blue team,, we ruled the entire game and we kicked everyons butt butt. Well me and elham won it for everyone else. We had to play in the woods but where it had been raining the day before the ground was so slippery,, so what do i go and do? Fall init of course lol. I just sat in the mud shouting at the other team who decided to shoot me while i was down =[. But i got my revenge by takeninghe ones that killed me out =]

Damn what a tirering day,, after watching 'i am legend' and 'american gangter' and 'AVP 2' i think i might have died on the sofa, and slept through a massive pillow fight =].

xx

After a hard day at school a chill out trip was set out to the back of the field,, now me and Lottie were walking back form the loo's and found a ladybird and named it Jim. Through out our time we found a few ladybirds and made them one big hilly billy family =]. Their names were Jim, bob, willy and sarah. Willy was the youngest and really really tiny =]..

Oh we really do live for the small things in life =]

Valentines Day was fun when we were kids. Sending secret cards and little gifts to the people you fancy but too embrassed top tell them out front. But know last year of high school everything has kind of blown out the window. At my school there playing love music all week at break and lunch and you can by fake  roses, and then to top it off, tomorrow on Valentines day you can pay to have a card sent to your valentine secretly.

But what i'm really banging on about is that, whats all the fuss really about? If your in a relationship why do you need one certain day of the year to show them you love them when really you should be doing it everyday. My boyfriend thinks it's just a bit of fun and a reason to do something special, which i can understand, but still why can't everytime your with someone you love be special. It doesn't even need to be something big you can just tell someone you love or just do something simple for them.

Also why do some people just have to bring you down when your feeling good. I know some people get bad knews but seriously how much can one person. I'm there for them as much as i can but then again i can't help [seeing as i'm in a different country to him]. I feel in the need of some love =[

xx

love had gone

and now its back

i can't help but think,, where it had all gone wrong

my worlds upside down,,

but i'm in the same old places, in the same old towns

running around looking for a reason why i'm so lucky

i lost him and found him once again

i won't let him go never again

he's mine no ones elses

love had left me

and it has come back to me

Gleeming madness

Shining innocence

Wasn't for me, never was

Look in the mirror for last time and try so hard not to cry

My cheeks wet

Make up bruises, won't brush away

Time to wash this away and forget the pain

Why not show this, why not tell people

They might understand and yet I know they won't

Maybe one day it won't be so hard being someone else

Living this dream that is so perfect for anyonce, Take it please

why hide?

it's just another day

supposed friends keeping us down

while the people we love move on above

live how we want

yes thats what they say

don't chase everyone else

but being excepted is someone else's game

be myself i say, don't hide anymore

step into the light and forget everyone else around you

but why can't i do it, why not leave or run away to a new forbidden place

everything else wide not tame

the sea like horses run wide everyday

but not me i must stay and for fill yet another day

one day i will stop stop hiding, or maybe just play someone else's game.

WOOOOOOOOOO,, offically half term now finally, no school nothing. But i still have coursework =[. Which of course has to suck but will be easy. This is me being really random but what the heck i have nothing better to do with my time at the moment part from say that 'fashion rocks' on tv has to be the weirdest thing ever. I can understand that they are major labels but who would really ever wear what they show. On every red carpet show i've seen i've nevr seen the strange but yet wonderful dresses on anyone. Does anyone really evr wear them??

lol what am i talking about i need sleep right about now :S

God i've had the biggest stress ever today. Well actually only in maths because Tom and Daniel behind me kept poking me in the back and i kept throughing paper balls at them. Well at least i got Daniel in the eye, and they kept saying that i had a bad aim lol.

But yesterday was the best in Citizenship. Well i mean it is the most boring and unnessecary lesson in the world but still sh didn't have to shout and scream at us for having our music in. So she turned round to me and says 'oit ginger take your earphones out'. And i'm just like what??? I couldn't stop laughing and neither could the class, so i had to put up with having the stick for being ginger lol. Well thats what happens when yu put blonde over black hair dye.

And now i'm sitting here doing nothing and wanting to shoot myself because they're playing 'barbie girl' by the twins sam and amanda from big brother omg someone please kill them and burn that video NOW 

Seriously don't ask whyi'm up its the schools fault and i hate it.

Got a new laptop yesterday and it has nthing on it ahhhh. No msn no nothing , i'm lucky to just have set up my internet andsorted out the music. It's driving me mad!!!! I wantmy pictures bak =[

Over another hangover,, I really hate them now, so no more drink for me.

It was fun last night though and we had so many laughs, even if i had to see my ex (Daniel) but he looked pretty shocked to see me! We were all over the back of my school field just running around and basically partying, like it was never going to end. So rude though because Saif kept stealing my drinks and making me chase him for them back, but i'm stealing his hat on monday at school. I even threatned to bottle some guy that was with us?? I'm sorta sorry about it but he did keep following me like a little lost puppy =]. But over than having to pretend to be in a car to get some food, drive-thru style!!!

Today was fun tho,, didn't get up till, ummm not sure but having pizza and cake for breakfast and then going out again but not for lond because it was just too hot and sirj kept stealing my glasses just cause they matched his armani jeans lool.

Drunkness isn't always a good thing but on friday it was,, bbq and drink and kerrang what better way to end a day, i got abit upset over Daniel but screw it, i'm sooo happy. Guys only ever tie you down, so now being single i've never been sooo happy. While i was upset, Mel decided to walk into me (well i turned into her) and split my drink all in her hair, so she washed it tryin to make me feel betta, which kinda did coz it was the weirdest thing ever. But at home damn i was dancing like shakira which was really funny, and me drunk and dancing, well its better than you've been framed.

But the hangover, damn that was bad, and goin to kingston next day was just funny, i don't think i've ever walked around for soooo long. But i got ma FOB bag and skeleanimal soo it wa for a good reason.

But now today has been mega boring,, i've been packing for my holiday all day and i can't fit everything in my case :s. It was funny though because at first i just packed myself and couldn't be bothered, seeing as i go 2moz. I can't wait, but its goin to be soo hott, and no buzznet or FOBR ahhhh

Come on i mean yeah some guys can be the nicest people when you first meet them but seriously what's happened to can make ya change ya mind.

 I thought i loved my boyfriend, but turned out he was using me and all his best mates warned me and i didn't listen because *Daniel was sooo nice to me. But it started being really wierd and it turns out on his birthday party, he had DANCERS, and when i say dancers i really mean FUCKED UP WHORE SLUTTY STRIPPERS !!!!! Now i'm not saying all strippers are sluts coz one of ma mates is one and she's the best. But he shagged one of them and wasn't even going to tell me!!! But ohhh no it didn't stop him from telling my BEST MATE,, she couldn't wait to tell. I love her to bits and she's guna kill *Daniel, but the fact is,, is that he thought she wouldn't tell me, i mean come on if your best mates with someone your going to tell them everything even all the bad shit.

Soo i ask him if theres anything he needs to talk to me about and he goes "no,, do you love me?" Me being a stupid bitch says "Yer you know i do. Do you love me?" And the reponse OMFG, the response "NOOOOOO well fuck it, its over bye,, have fun,, cya!!" and went offline. I mean i guess it wouldn't be sooo bad if it was too ma face, but on msn come on have some dignity. What a dick,, can't even say it to ma face.

He's now losing his best mates after he told them and they all think he's prick for it. I don't want them to fall out because of me and i don't want them to choose a side, but i guess he's brought this upon himself, treating his friends like shit and like he's the king of england.

Well he can kiss my arse if he thinks i'm guna cry one single tear over him, and i don't care if he spreads the worst bullshit around the world about me because i know it's not true and i'm guna stand my ground.

AHHH, just got back from my nans and being bored for like a hundred hours.

But omg I now have 2 budgies, their sooooo cute. I swear all they do is eat make a tonne of noise and shit everywhere in their cage lool. I never knew it could take sooo long to find a cute pair, but these one's are the best. And omfg they like FOB (of course), i was playin it on the tv and they started dancing it was sooo cute anf funny.

I'm still bored with nothing to do but have guy troubles lool. I don't know why but ma bf keeps just being angery all the time and its really pulling me back down and he won't let me why argh. But i remember that this has happened to me and ma ex and i just went really really down and felt that everything was all my fault (which it weren't).

I need something to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I swear there must be absolutly no point to summer holidays there's nothing to do and I have no monye damn it.

Went bowling on wednesday with Mel, Olivia, Amanda, Kirsten, Charlotte and Kerry. Omg it was sooo funny, we went macdonalds first and had a lil food fight, well just throw chips at Olivia =]. Then some guy told us that we had to just eat or we'll get kicked out :o. Then went looking around feltham and brought condoms in Boots, but Kerry brought some as well. Then when we were bowling , Kirsten and Olivia stole some condoms and filled them with water. Olivia threw one on the wall and it burst everywhere but it was stuck there. Lol i even gave Ben one as a present but told him that he had to wait til Mel was 16!!!! lool. Then we were walking all over the place gettin peoples stuff to sleep aound Mindy's and we came back with pizza hmmmm.

Anyway now i'm bored because i finished Harry Potter and now i have nothing else to read, it funny at the end because Voldemort basically kills him YAYYY!

AHHHHHH i'm writing a story with fall out boy in it and vampires and i need loadsa ideas because i'm hoping that it'll never finish and go on for ages lool. So if you have any ideas pease tell me.

i'm soo loving it at the mo. I don't have to get up early and when i do i just read the new harry potter book. It totally rocks like most people would i hope i agree with me.

Yesterday was a bit of a drag tho,, i had to tidy my very messy room, which was quiet funny coz i found stuff that i'd forgotten about. I also re-did my posters and moved them around abit. I also somehow found some more to put up, so now it looks totally awesome.

I can't stop listening to fall out boy,, well actually any rock music. When i'm not playing it really loudly on my computer, i'm playing it really loudly on my mp3.

OMG, on friday (last day of school) there was a massive storm which annoyingly rained for ages, and we all got sent home even earlier. But trying to get into kingston was a nightmare because were it goes under the train station there was four feet of water and a floating car loool. But when i got there it was sooo funny and we had a massive party.

Now it's sunny and i'm listening to sum 41 really really loudly =] =]. I have absoulty nothing to do, ooo i might as well add some more to my story. x

Ahhhh i'm stuck in ICT and i am soo bored.

I've got kerrang radio blasting into my ears!!!! I feel confused atm because my boyfriend is bein a dick, i know that he has to go to work and shit but still it don't mean that he can treat me like shit. I can only see him on the weekends and he's got the arse because i'm going out for an all nighter with my mates ahhhh.

Can't wait til the summer hols, don't have to be stuck in boring lessons like this one argh. But still gonna be six weeks of parties =D.

Well never really written on these but oh well,

Just thought i'd let everyone know that i'm sooo hyper and happy and in a weird mood, and mel made me hit pete but he liked it ahhhhh.